Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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