I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
