Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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