that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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