We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
