oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
