There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think I am morally bankrupt
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
