I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
