Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
