I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Please, let me fuck your mom
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
