You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
