i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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