you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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