honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
