I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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