Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
