i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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