come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
