like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
