I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize