hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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