yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
