Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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