Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
