Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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