She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Randomize
