She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
