i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
