It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
