Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
