Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
