You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
