Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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