Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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