In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
