alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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