did you get engaged???
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
