what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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