i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
