lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
