So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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