I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
