I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
