That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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