I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
