Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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