I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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