I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
