We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
