I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
3pm strippers are depressing
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
