We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
